I am now my mother.

Way back during the times that dinosaurs roamed the earth I was a teen living in the home of my mother and father. In one house (my fave), was a nice sized kitchen. Open, eat-in style with plenty of cabinet space and a walk in pantry. The upper cabinet closest to the pantry housed the family pharmacy. In it were all the prescription meds, otcs and vitamins. We certainly had medicine cabinets I just don’t recall medicine being in them. The kitchen was it and looking back it makes sense because the kitchen is where the beverages were and required for taking meds, unless you’re a person with snake-like tendencies swallowing pills whole without water. None of us are snakes.

I am now my mother.

Around age 37 or so the proverbial poo hit the fan. I thought I was having a heart attack, madamoiselle drama queen called the nurse advice line who told me to call an ambulance and go the hospital. Now EMTs weren’t an unusual site in my townhouse community as there were a few neighbors who were seniors. I was NOT a senior and was getting hauled off to what later became a more frequent hangout spot, Northside Hospital.

I was a big lady, am now too but even bigger then. I tell them I’m having chest pains and can’t breathe and these fools put my big butt on a treadmill on INCLINE. They kept speeding it up until I was running. Then they looked at me crazy because I was running. I’m like, “don’t get it twisted I’m a 200 lb cardio queen.” But I digress, they finished the stress test, told me my heart was fine and that I was having an asthma attack.

Whaaaaat??

They used to say that you “outgrow” asthma. Those famous theys lied. I’d gone 20 years without problems but the greenery of the metro and the smog had me jacked up. After painful allergy tests, allergy shots which I still get, Ct scans (just had one last week) and alllllllll the meds I’ve become my mother, the lady with the kitchen medicine cabinet except my kitchen is far less spacious and said meds are kept In a basket. Most of the basket is filled with vitamins, however meds are ever present to handle all of my various maladies. Do I like it? Nah. Are there alternatives? Yeah sure, just haven’t found anything that doesn’t cause HIVES. So for now, I do what is required in order to keep all my fluffiness upright and above ground.

What about you? When was the moment that you became your mom/dad/grandmam? Let me know in the comments or the usual places. Until next time, see you in the vitamin aisle or the pharmacy where I’ll be trying to maintain.