Last weekend was the last weekend for walking outside as everything is starting to bloom. My nose knows as it has started to trouble me. My nose also knows what gym smells like. My regular gym isn’t so bad because its pretty big and airy, nevertheless gyms, fitness and yoga classes invariably smell like funk, must, food, feet and or farts. Gross as they are those smells are expected at the gym, but what happened on this particular weekend, Lord Jesus almost put me out.
I’m on the treadmill, mad and cranky because I’ll be spending an hour on it instead of outside on the trail. After about 20 minutes I finally got my mind right as I listened to Rakim tell me how to Move the Crowd and am hitting my stride. At 22 minutes, this chick rolls up to the treadmill on my left. The treadmills are this close together
When she starts walking she blows my nose all the way up with her PERFUME! Now why she came next to me I don’t know because even with one section closed for maintenance there were at least 10 other treadmills for her to use. I’m like this heffa is trolling me right now with this perfume.
I’m thinking she won’t last, I can wear a treadmill out so and I knew that when it came Survival of the Fittest on the treadmill I would win. I was dead wrong. 22 minutes went to 30, went to 40 at which time Sucka Ni**a was playing… how appropriate. Q-Tip says “So concisely, musically we are the herb so sit back and light me, inhale my style is kinda fat reminiscent of a whale…” I inhale and start coughing and praying she would leave.
She didn’t.
She was on the same one hour program I was on. I got off and she was still walking, she won.
I understand mugs want to smell fresh and all but THIS IS THE GYM, you are excused to be funky. So ye old broad asks each of you ladies and gents to save your store bought fragrances until after you shower and are GONE from the gym. Members especially old broads will thank you.
P.S. in spite of the extreme duress I got the time in.
Photos: MsThorns
Powered by Soul 
In all honesty, my current gym’s smell is one of the reasons that won me over. It doesn’t smell “good.” It reminded me of my youth training in high school/college gyms. They were full of teen testosterone which we all know stinks. But that smell reminded me of a peaceful time. I signed up that day.
OK. Now that’s appropriate stink!